Alien Invasion Report

 

Master Eatord:

     My assigned mission is successfully completed. During my two days of undercover stay at Rutgers Prep School, I have a lot to report about this place. According to my observation of their food, I think the school is worthwhile taking over and it will be an easy task because the creatures here are treated like animals.

     In terms of facilities, Rutgers Prep has a huge cafeteria called “Dining Commons”, a machine that spits out snacks, and an after-school cafeteria where the still-hungry creatures buy extra food. Interestingly, the machine that spits out food when fed metal coins or paper is very popular. I see the creatures crowd around the machine during break time every day. I don’t get why they are so eager to eat the machine’s vomit.

     On Thursday the school cafeteria serves typical American food, like hamburgers, French fries, and on Friday the school serves Asian food, like Thailand mango rice, and Cambodian marinated grilled chicken. It’s all yellow. Yellow must be the school color. The school must be well-funded because it provides decent places to eat and diverse food. When we take over the school, we can use their money as a fund for our further invasion to this planet.

     To further analyze the food in details, there are vegetables, meat, and main entrees, fruit, salad, and soup every day. The meal is designed to balance in nutrition to power up the creatures and apparently it gets the desired effect. When the creatures crowd into the Dining Commons during lunch period, they push each other, squeeze among the crowd, and compete for food. They seem very strong and healthy because everybody is competing fiercely. Those who lose have to stand in line and wait for another 5 minutes to be fed.

     Although the facilities and food are pretty decent here, the school treats the creature like animals. They have a rigid function schedule and they are driven to different rooms by time. They operate rather early in the morning, like 8 o’clock and whoever in charge of charging the creatures clearly does a terrible job because everyone seems to run on a low battery. Then they are all fed during the 30-min lunch period. Those poor creatures just take food and stuff it in their mouth without actually enjoying it. When the period is over, nobody dares to stay for another bite and they all run back to the rooms. With such inhuman treatment, their bodies might be strong but their minds are weak and we can easily destroy them.

     There are three large bin-like robots in the cafeteria and the creatures feed them what they can’t finish. The robots seem to enjoy the leftovers because they have no complaints at all. They are only half-filled at the end of the lunch period, and I’m amazed how little food those creatures leave to feed the robots. But when I see the food the next day or the soup the day after the next, it’s all clear to me where all the leftover food goes.